The recent rise in the popularity of nature based Handfastings as the principal element of marriages is a sign of changing times.

Rewind some twenty years – as the owner of a wedding venue with very ancient roots, l was asked whether if l would allow a Handfasting rather than the more traditional civil wedding ceremony for which we were well known.

I was both unsure and intrigued, wasn’t it a pagan celebration? would holding something like that give the wrong impression of the venue, give it a bad name?

What exactly was involved, did we have to slaughter a goat or something?

A more in-depth conversation with the couple and a little research dispelled my initial fears but many questions still remained; where should we hold the ceremony, who would preform it, what would actually be said, was it legal?
The last question was the easiest to answer, no, such a ceremony had no legal significance , but that wasn’t what they were asking for.

Would holding such a ceremony in our ‘marriage room’ breach the strict conditions imposed by the licensing authority ? arguably yes, but again that wasn’t what they were after, their celebration should be in the open air.

Up until that time all of our ceremonies had been preformed by trained registrars from the Local Authority but in this instance apparently anyone could do the job!

With no one else available l stepped into the breach.

I’m so glad that I did.

Sitting down with the couple, together we explored their ideas and refined their vows, it was an interesting and fulfilling experience.

The ceremony itself should have structure, it should contain the five principal elements of a Handfasting, a spiritual occasion which predates marriage as we currently understand it. It needed to flow seamlessly and incorporate nature and the surrounding natural world in all its glory and fickleness.

Their vows were obviously both personal to them, and profound.

And so, a few months later l found myself standing in the meadow below our venue dressed in a robe amid a circle of fascinated guests speaking words that perfectly embraced the moment.

It was a special moment, a moment when I realised and appreciated the power and beauty of words. Words not spoken according to a written formula but words that came from the heart, words that acknowledged individually and frailty. Hope and commitment, even fear.

In such a natural spiritual setting, simply words of love.

Since that time our Handfastings have become a very popular addition to the range of celebrations that we offer, often in the form of a blessing following a more formal civil marriage but increasingly, as in the case of the first, if they wish, a stand alone ceremony with the couple often arranging to attend a registry office at a later date with just a couple of witnesses to ‘make it legal’.

My own close involvement as our celebrant remained until a few years ago when I realised that my ‘sell by date’ was fast approaching and new, younger blood was required. Fate, as has often happened in life, intervened, and one evening I found myself, quite unexpectedly, talking to the man who would replace me, although we also encourage couples who wish to bring their own celebrant.

In June, as a ‘stand in’ l officiated at probably my last celebration, (the short hill back to our venue seemingly becoming steeper every year!)

Just like the first all those years ago this was exactly what the couple wanted, a simple, meaningful celebration, their ceremony a spiritual experience, understanding of their place in nature.

Their personal vows, written and spoken by them alone practicality inaudible to everybody in the surrounding, protective circle of their family and close friends all the more powerful for that.

DC – June ‘24.